Friday, April 29, 2011

Do We Blame the Shit or the Digestive Tract?

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." - Chinese Proverb

What a noble, selfless thing it is to provide another person with facts, knowledge, the ability to think and care for himself, and the freedom to eventually pass the knowledge and care onto others. So what happens if you teach a man that the world is flat when you know it is round? What if you teach him Creationism instead of showing him proof of Evolution? What if you teach him to be racist, misogynistic, and homophobic?

You teach him not to think for himself. You've produced an idiot that will believe whatever you say even if what you're saying today is contradictory to the shit you said yesterday. He's too dumb to understand Facts that prove you wrong. And when he has kids he can teach them to be dumber than a bowl of cotton, he being the cotton. It's the GOP, Republicunt, Tea Bagging Agenda: Keep the people as stupid as possible so they will keep voting for the dirty, thieving whores who keep them poor and uncared for.

I can go off on how annoyed I've been listening to the insulting Birther Bullshit, but what makes me really mad - Street Rat Crazy Mad - are the masses of people who bought into it despite the Birth Certificate presented long ago - the people too thick to understand Proof.

Those are the people I hear clapping at Donald Trump's Las Vegas speech from last night. They are the ones who believe in Sarah Palin even after they've heard her speak. They are the ones who voted the Idiot Emperor into the Oval Office in 2004. You want to talk about an illegitimate presidency, let's talk about 2000. It's easy to dislike Paul Ryan and Scott Walker's politics, but it's the people who will vote for them again that scare me. Those who make more than $250,000 and have no soul will want to keep them in office, but those who make less and are unwilling to see that voting for these schmucks means voting to pay more taxes so the rich can get more tax breaks? They are a thumb in the eye. A Not-Done-Evolving-Yet Thumb in the eye.

I'll be honest - part of me hopes that Trump runs for President. It would be the funniest. Election. Ever. But there are so many stupid, stupid people out there, I'm a little worried he would accidentally win or just steal it like Bush did in 2000. It seems that the most successful GOP, Republicunt, Tea Bagging contenders are the ones that wave The Crazy Insane Flag real high. They attract Stupid faster than a Hick on a Slim Jim.

Where are all these ignorant schmucks coming from? This is America. Children are sent to school, and lots of them have parents or someone caring for them when they are NOT in school. How do so many of them manage to avoid learning? How has nearly half of our population gone through the system and come out thicker than a bucket of shit?

Here is a friend's status on Facebook yesterday:
"A kid in my class just used the word "Illinoise" in reference to the state, not the Sufjan Stevens album. #sadface"

I once knew a cop in Chicago whose regular beat was one of the high schools. One day he and his partner arrested two girls for beating a third with a Masterlock on a chain. As the girls sat in handcuffs the officers discussed an article one had read in the newspapers about a woman who called Ticketmaster to purchase tickets for some event. When asked for her billing address, she told the Box Office she lived in New Mexico. The Service Rep said, "Sorry, Ma'am. We don't sell tickets outside the US." She repeated that she lived in NEW Mexico, but the kid still insisted that they do not sell tickets outside the US. She asked for his manager, and after explaining her issue, the manager, too, explained their Foreign Policy. And while the two officers chuckled at the IQ of Ticketmaster representatives, they overheard one of the girls turn to her friend and say, "New Mexico, Old Mexico - What's the difference?"

Sad face indeed. Scared, Sad Face.

Your Racist Friend 

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success.
Fucking act like it.

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