Thursday, August 25, 2011

Are You Stupid for a Living?

Have you ever been to the doctor and been surprised by what he found? Have you ever known someone who told you he was just diagnosed with something awful and thought, "But he looks fine?"

If you answered No to both these questions, Mazel Tov. Otherwise, you're probably aware that someone who looks healthy can be quite ill, and it's really up to a doctor who has access to big, expensive machines to determine what's going on.

So let's get right down to it, shall we? When I walk for one minute without stopping, I lose sensation in my thighs. If I continue, the loss of sensation spreads down to my legs. On warm days, I have less than that minute before the numbness kicks in. That's how MS works in my body.  That's just how it is.

I have a neurologist who sends me into an MRI every six months so he can keep his eye on all the lesions in my central nervous system, like the one sitting on my spine that is probably the culprit of my walking issue. You are not him. Unless you are, in which case Hi, Dr. B!

Do I need a wheelchair? No. Do I limp? Sometimes. Depends on the day, how warm it is, how far I've walked, and how much my exercises have helped me, etc. Do I look healthy? I guess that depends on the day too, but that's got just as much to do with how well I slept the previous night and whether or not I've whipped my JewFro into submission as the MS.

So if I walk away from a Handicapped spot, and you have the audacity to ask me if I'm handicapped, ask yourself if you've ever been surprised by what your doctor found at one of your check ups. Ask yourself if you've ever known someone who told you he was just diagnosed with something awful, and you thought, "But he looks fine!" Because you don't have MRI vision, you don't see the lesion on my spine, and I will beat you like a rented mule. How dare you, you cunt...

For Doz Dat Slept

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success.
Fucking act like it.

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