Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Hyphen After Hyphen After Hyphen

I've spent the past three years watching today's version of Republicans desperately try to get rid of Barack Obama. Why? It's not because he's a Democrat. They didn't do this to Clinton. I've been around long enough to see Republicans & Democrats repeatedly battling for the seat in the White House, but these past three years have been different.

When Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell openly admitted his top political priority was denying President Obama a second term, there was no side note about spending the next four years working with the president to create jobs, balance the budget, or end costly wars - a feat that might convince American voters to oust the 2012 incumbent in favor of a worthy conservative. He just wants to make the president's four years final even if he's the right man for the job, and judging what he's up against, he is.

The continuous fighting between the GOP candidates and the repulsive reactions from their supporters during the debates and rallies says it all: Gingrich calls Obama the Food Stamp President, and people applaud. An old fart, KKK carrying card member at a Santorum rally tells him she refuses to acknowledge Obama's presidency because it isn't legal. The crowd, ignoring Obama's birth certificate, cheers her on, and Santorum says nothing to correct her.

I get it now. How fucking naive I've been hoping that in this day and age we had evolved a little more than this. I thought the division in this country came down to our differences in political ideology. Blue versus red. But in this case, it's more like black versus white. This agenda is not about politics. It's about the color of Barack Obama's skin, and that color isn't white.

Why else did the birther issue begin? It wouldn't have happened if he were white. The lies about him being a devout Muslim? They wouldn't have happened if he were white. And who cares who he prays to anyway? It's none of our fucking business, but oh how the neoconservatives love to tell us it is. And their fake devotion to God is just there to pull votes from Bible beaters whose priorities seem to be who their leaders pray to, even when those leaders are awful. And this republican lineup? Really fucking awful.

This neoconservative agenda to remove Obama before 2012 by lying about his being an American citizen failed miserably due to a valid birth certificate. Those with slightly higher IQs moved onto Plans B & C while the dumber ones continue to work on the birth certificate, even today. Plan B, by the way, is a series of lies about Obama's successes that they hope you are stupid enough to believe, and Plan C is a set of distractions meant to keep you from noticing that while they carry out Plan B, Congress is not doing their job to help the people of this country.

Think it's not about him being black? Those of you who think Family Values are important may have recently decided to support Gingrich: A joke of a man who has cheated on two, probably three wives, leaving the first two when they were ill and needed him the most. He clearly places no value on the family unless that value is a public moment of anger to forward his campaign. Before you applaud him for his response to John King's question, remember that in 1998 he himself orchestrated a multimillion dollar ad campaign against Clinton for getting a blowjob from someone other than his wife. While pushing for Clinton's impeachment over the aforementioned hummer, he was having a full blown affair. I don't really care who my politicians have sex with as long as it's consensual and legal, but if you're the dick who publicly made a big deal out of someone else's affair, expect me to judge you when you prove yourself to be hypocritical. It's not just the media who loves to demonize political infidelities, Newt. One might say you fucking started it.

So if you actually care about Family Values in your president, ask yourself why President Obama, a man who actually loves his family, isn't good enough.

Those of you complaining about how high your taxes are may support Romney. Here's a man who has said he pays what he's legally obliged to pay, but spends more money than you see in a year on lobbyists who keep him from having to pay a higher percentage. That percentage, by the way, is lower than the percentage you pay. Do you understand? You pay a higher percentage of your income in taxes than Romney. A billionaire. And your taxes are high because they have to compensate for Romney and his ilk not paying their fair share. Your taxes will continue to be high while you protect billionaires from making a fair contribution. When you fight for lower taxes, I don't believe your realize your fight is for lower taxes for billionaires, not your own. 

Obama would like to make billionaires pay their fare share of taxes so he can lower yours. So unless you're a billionaire, ask yourself why you're opposed to President Obama when it comes to the tax issue.

Those of you complaining about having to pay taxes at all probably support Paul. He's street rat crazy. He's also anti-woman, anti-homosexual, anti semetic, and full on racist. Some Libertarian. Do you have any idea what taxes pay for? Roads, policemen, firemen, 911, uncontaminated food, a guarantee that when you go to the bank to remove your money, it's there... Taxes pay for things that allow us to live like civilized people. It's those taxes that allow you to go out and try to earn a living instead of sitting at home guarding your family from killers and thieves. You know... because taxes pay for the military...

Those of you upset about your high taxes seem to love the military yet are blind to the fact that war is expensive. Who do you think pays for it? Where do you think the money comes from when Romney and Friends have loopholes that get them out of contributing? Romney recently complained that our Navy fleet is shrinking under Obama. What he neglected to mention is a longstanding trend in the Navy to reduce the amount of ships in favor of more expensive, highly specialized ones...100 row boats aren't as effective as one high tech Red October. Understand?

If Obama's attention to our military isn't to your liking, you've probably thanked Bush for the death of Bin Laden, because you are stupid. Really, really fucktarded stupid. Obama accomplished something we've all wanted since Baby Bush's first year in office. What part of our military do you feel is lacking under Obama?

Those of you complaining about the deficit are outraged at its startling amount. Hate to tell you this, mostly because you still won't get it, but it was there before Obama took office. Just so you fucking know. In his first two years Obama has only increased the it by 16%. Baby Bush who came into office with a surplus left by Clinton, increased it by 115%. Reagan increased it by 189%. So when the Republicans point at the huge deficit and blame Obama they are flat out lying. What they're really trying to do is make you forget that this one is all Bush's. He turned a balanced budget surplus into an enormous deficit with expensive wars and tax cuts for Romney, and that's why you're broke, Bitch. And don't be fooled by Gingrich's claim to four consecutive balanced budgets. Those surpluses happened between 1998 and 2001, and even Gingrich knows he was forced to leave congress in 1999. On top of that, the highest surplus occurred in 2000 when he was no where near congress. That's right. Bush pissed away the surplus when it was at its highest. And you blame Obama.

Lots of you are complaining about jobs. The Tea Party promised to put you back to work if you voted for them in the midterm elections, but that was never in their playbook. Know how I know? Because the first issue they took on was revoking women's rights. Redefining rape. Defunding Planned Parenthood. They did everything they could to distract you from noticing that you were out of work, and they'd be keeping you out of work. Don't defend their battle against Planned Parenthood - it's a diversion. Do you know how much of your taxes funds abortions? None. The Hyde Amendment bars the use of federal funds to pay for abortions. Good thing they spent all that time working on a pointless cause which still puts no food on your table. And, by the way, you're still out of work. Well, some of you are. Obama's stimulus package that helped contribute to his meager 16% of the deficit has created 3.7 million jobs. The same program that paid $34.5 billion in tax incentives to business including $260 million to hire younger, unemployed war vets. BOOYA!

Tell me that part again about how Obama is to blame for a large deficit and unemployment. I'm all aghast ears.

On a side note, I'm am loathe to discuss abortion with anyone who isn't my husband or doctor, but those of you fighting to make abortion illegal probably support Santorum: Whose wife had an abortion. So there's that.

And speaking of healthcare, those of you complaining about Obama's Healthcare are probably the most in need of health insurance. You and your Type Two Diabetes selves. Shocking that the spin doctors at Fox have convinced you that this is a hand out. Know what a hand out is? Bank bailouts. CEOs who take those bailouts and keep it for themselves as bonuses. There's your hand out.

So let's see. We have a president who loves his family, wants to lower your taxes by making billionaires pay their fare share of our civilized nation, took down Bin Laden, has contributed remarkably little to our deficit but increased it for the purpose of creating jobs for you and unemployed war veterans, is trying to get you the healthcare that you need, and you don't want him. Why? You claim he isn't your president because he isn't American, despite his birth certificate. Why? Just the fact that you went through the trouble to argue his validity as president... May I remind you that Baby Bush was not elected in 2000? That he stole it from Dole, who had way more votes? That blacks and Jews were prevented that election year from hitting the polls because it was clear who their majorities supported?

What's the real reason for Republicans not wanting President Obama over the four remaining and despicable men who want to take his place? What's your reason? Are you ballsy enough to admit the people you support are bigots? Or shall we just agree they have successfully brainwashed you? Because the facts are all there and you choose not to see it.



I am America. I am the part you won't recognize. But get used to me. Black, confident, cocky. My name, not yours. My religion, not yours. My goals, my own. Get used to me. - Muhammad Ali

It Ain't Over Till the Fat Lady Sings






Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance 
and conscientious stupidity.



Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Don't Give a Shit Who You Pray To.

A Facebook friend posted an article today called 5 Founding Fathers Whose Skepticism About Christianity Would Make Them Unelectable Today, and as I read it, I started to get angry. Not because of the beliefs within, but because I was once again reading a political article that was completely based on religion. I'm tired of it.

Religion is a private matter, everyone in this country is allowed to have different beliefs, and I'm tired of people, especially politicians and Fox 'News,' cramming their supposed religious ideology down my throat and watching Americans accept it when it's shoved down theirs. These GOP candidates are using the words Thank, God, Lord, & Almighty on a group of dimwits too dim to realize they don't mean a word of it.


These people can pretend to be Christian all they want, but it won't change the fact that they're unwilling to help the poor, serve the needy, or do anything else that "Jesus would do," and if you support one of these asshats because you think they're "God fearing people," I'm telling you you're wrong.

Keep it up @MicheleBachmann, @RickSantorum, @MittRomney, and @GovernorPerry, and I'll start flooding your Twitter pages with details about my periods and bowel movements. At least I won't be telling lies...

Lies


I like your Christ, 
I do not like your Christians.
Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Hypocrisy, thy Name is GOP

When I catch myself doing something that contradicts what I think I believe, I feel shame, make a mental note, and tell myself to learn from it. Luckily, my actions don't affect millions of other people...



Rick Santorum. He's against abortion, without exception. Even in the case of rape or incest. That fertilized egg has more rights than the woman carrying it.



Unless that woman happens to be his wife.

The Santorum's can name the decision, procedure, or event whatever they like, but the fact remains that Karen Santorum was pregnant, suffered difficulties due to an infection caused by the fetus, and faced with a decision many families must face, made a CHOICE that saved her life. It was a tragic event. I'm sure the family suffered and continues to grieve. But they are no different from any other fucking family who has gone through an awful tragedy like this, and every family who goes through this should get to make their own fucking choice. Pro Choice doesn't mean Abortion. It means Choice.



Newt. I detest having to sort through footage of this cunt just to back up what I'm saying. The fact is that he has the audacity to argue against marriage between two men or two women, talks of the sanctity of marriage, yet it's well known he's on his third fucking marriage, has cheated on his previous wives, and left one of them while she was in the hospital with cancer.





How funny now to hear Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Perry complaining about Obama's "Class Warfare" and then come face to face with what the 99% of us have been fighting. Payback's a bitch, boys.

So how does it feel, huh? Are you not enjoying someone richer than you rigging the system to directly help himself and hurt you? Do you still support the same policies that are currently kicking your own ass? Go ahead and fight for lower taxes on 'Job Creators.' Go ahead and deregulate them. Do it. But when the rich guy uses the money he made, through policies you adore, to make costly smear ads against you, you all sound quite 99%ish.



Ahhh...This reversal of misfortune is tastier than chocolate, more soul soothing than Jeff Buckley's voice, and more satisfying that watching Man City clobber Man U this season.

Not one of you idiots is fit to lead this country, and watching you crotch this beam is fucking funny. You may be public servants, but you serve as much purpose as a cock flavored lollipop. You will only make Obama's reelection that much sweeter...

We've Been Had





If you want to be perfect, go,
sell your possessions and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.

Isn't that right?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Scary Monsters

Came home and did a quick Facebook check before going to bed. My friend posted a link with the caption "Hilarious" and it had a bunch of Likes so I clicked on it. Hilarious? No. Something that pissed me off enough to come here and bitch about it? Oh, fuck yes.

This link is a compilation of people who Tweeted about how they didn't get what they wanted for Christmas. Kids, I'm guessing, who are mad that they didn't get an iPhone, iPad, or car. That's right - a car. Or they're mad they got a Kindle Fire instead of something else. And they hate their parents for ruining their Christmases. And they have no shame going online to admit it. The whole thing baffles me.

So I need to ask the people having these children a really important question: What the FUCK are you doing?

At what point did you decide you could, or should, raise a child? If you were just going to raise a pathetic fucking sack of cum, why didn't you pull out and collect it in a jar? Better yet, why didn't you wear a fucking condom and just keep it when you were done? You could have spent your life giving it anything or nothing and it would never complain. You could have saved everyone the misfortune of coming across it in public and having to be horrified by its awful attitude. With a little bit of luck, the GOP wouldn't one day give it the right to vote so we wouldn't need to worry about its pathetic, greedy, self involved opinion. That right there is a Holy Trinity of why abortion should always remain legal - just incase you fuck again.

And don't you tell me not to call your kid a sack of cum, because if your kid goes by @ZachBell20 on Twitter, he just called you a cunt for not getting him an iPhone. I don't know who leads a more useless existence - you, who are raising the equivalent of Athlete's Foot, or the Athlete's Foot who was lucky enough to receive the education he needed to learn to spell, type, and use the computer to show off his fucking education.


As an outsider to Christmas, I have found joy in the general feeling of happiness amongst people I come across during this time of year. But currently, people are on such a quest to buy shit their kids are just going to be complaining about, and they're pepper spraying anyone who gets in their way. Even the Christmas ads leave me with a bad taste, and not just because they start in September. This year Best Buy had a campaign whose theme was to One Up Santa. I'm Jewish, and it still pissed me off. Santa - benevolent, generous guy whose purpose is to give. Leave it to a fucking corporation to fuck with the concept of Giving.

The upside to this whole thing? The glimmer of hope I find coming out of the horrific little shits being raised by horrific cunts? I wasn't alone in my anger.

Just to make sure the link wasn't made up, I did a Twitter search on some of the more awful complainers and found that others had been there before me. And they made an evening of telling each of the spoiled brats what they thought of them.

Leon Bernard aka Sk8boardLee26, who Tweeted that Christmas sucked because all he got was a Camero and iPad, has responded with a video on YouTube pleading his case. It takes awhile, but he eventually explains that regardless of the gifts he received, his Christmas sucked because he's active duty and hasn't been with his family for Christmas in three years. I'll buy that. Of course, if his original intent was to share how sad Christmas was because he missed his family, there are more informative sentences. Like - I'd give all my Christmas presents away in exchange for family time.

Veronica Moriarty aka VBellz_Moriarty, who "cried for like 2 hours straight" because she didn't get a car has removed her Twitter account. I can only imagine what invisible people on a computer screen said that made her run off and hide.

And my favorite flap of skin, the aforementioned Zachary Bell aka ZachBell20, who hates his cunt of a father who had eight months to get him the iPhone, but didn't produce it by this Christmas - his Twitter account is down too... But it wasn't last night. I wish I'd copied the remark because it was pretty fucking brilliant, and I'm now unable to credit its owner: "The only thing I ever got from my Dad was molested when I was 10. But at least I got an iPhone!"

Beat on the Brat




Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people.


Friday, December 23, 2011

[ ;) ]

May you and yours enjoy a wonderful [insert appropriate holiday, festival, or ritual] full of Peace, Love, & Understanding. May those of you not celebrating anything in particular during Winter Solstice experience a tranquility you might not normally find during the rest of the year. Unless you happen to not follow the Gregorian Calendar in which case I don't know what to tell you.

May the well wishes of strangers celebrating [insert appropriate holiday, festival, or ritual] instead of [insert appropriate holiday, festival, or ritual] not piss you off ruining what should be an otherwise pleasant season, and if the well wishes do offend, may you realize that, in all likelihood, no harm was meant. Unless the well wishes for [insert appropriate holiday, festival, or ritual] come from someone who expects you to celebrate [insert appropriate holiday, festival, or ritual] just like they do because you're in America, in which case I wish you the willpower to not do anything stupid. Unless your act of stupidity results in no bodily harm, but a really funny story that your family will tell every [insert appropriate holiday, festival, or ritual.]

The Piano Has Been Drinking

Stonehenge Winter Solstice



Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Piece. Peace.

Hoping you get some and hoping it's good.



There never was a good war or bad peace.


Friday, November 11, 2011

Go Nebraska.

Do you know what happens when you teach a child how to tie his shoe? He eventually learns how to tie his shoe. Know what happens when he hears you curse? He learns to curse. Get upset with him all you like, but he learned if from you. Just like the commercial says.

Know what happens when the media makes victims of sexual harassment and abuse look like the bad guys? Men like Herman Cain get to run for president, and his fans get to show their brainwashed ignorance by booing anyone who questions his character.

...And college students will take to the streets screaming and crying to support the man who protected a pedophile. For the love of college football.

Bob Ford puts it all into perspective in this article explaining why Beaver Stadium should be empty this weekend.
"There should be no cheering on Saturday. There should be silence in the enormous concrete and steel edifice built to deify a program that has now been revealed as a false god. Tell the people not to come. Tell them there is nothing here to glorify. Encourage them to spend the fall afternoon with their children."
The only thing I wish he would have added is FUCK YOU, Penn State. Fuck you and fuck the fucking idiots out in the fucking street crying over a fucking guy who thought college fucking football was more important the the fucking well being of eight fucking kids. Fuck you for threatening Assistant Coach Mike McQueary for stepping forward to tell your beloved Coach Joe Fucking Paterno that he saw Assistant Fucking Coach Jerry Fucking Sandusky abusing a child in the fucking shower. You wanna bitch at him for not stopping it? Yeah, I'll back you up. Wanna call him a cunt for taking it to Paterno instead of calling the police? Fuck Yeah. But for letting the cat out of the bag? Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck is wrong with you fucks? One day I hope you all look back at footage of yourselves crying your fucking faces off on fucking TV for your fucking school football team only to realize you can spend the rest of your lives Shawshanking through a tunnel of shit longer than four fucking football fields, and there will still never be any fucking redemption for the lot of you. Fuck off and Fuck you.

Get ready to start paying out to your victims. Just ask the National Restaurant Association and Princess Herman Cain, less useful than Athlete's Foot, too disrespectful of women to be allowed out of his house, and flypaper to ignorance. A holy trinity of why shoving my dick in his eye would be more beneficial to this country than his presidency.

Start standing up for victims. My Superiority Complex is getting out of hand.

Karma Police



You are the result of four billion years of evolutionary success.
Fucking act like it.