Tuesday, March 6, 2012

It's a Super Tuesday.

As I wait for polls to close throughout the ten states holding primaries today, I check on Rush Limbaugh's financial hemorrhage. Yesterday eight companies pulled sponsorship from his bigoted, racist, misogynistic, anti-semitic show, and today I'm eager to see if this gash has started to clot or if someone slipped him some blood thinners. My heart swells to see that today the number of fleeing advertisers has grown. I'd say Rush Limbaugh officially needs a tampon. A super.

I'd like to thank AccuQuote Life Insurance, Allstate Insurance, Bare Essentials, Bethesda Sedation Dentistry, Bonobos, Capital One, Cascade Dental, Downeast Energy, Geico, Goodwill Industries, Hadeed Carpet, Heart & Body Extract, John Deere, Netflix, Philadelphia Orchestra, PolyCom, Sears, Sensa, Service Magic, Stamps.com, St. Vincent's Medical Center, Tax Resolution, Thompson Creek Windows, and Vitacost for pulling their ads from Baby Dick's show and I'd like to repeat a thank you to AOL, Carbonite, Citrix, LegalZoom, ProFlowers, Quicken Loans, Sleep Number, and The Sleep Train for starting the exodus. I'd also like to extend some big love to Big Island Radio Station KPUA and Massachusetts' WBEC for dropping his show from their schedules.

To those sponsors who are standing by this putrid fuckwit, my foot up your ass.
Lear Capital? Your mother is a slut.
Amberen? Your mothers is a slut going through menopause.
Snell Heating and Air? Please post videos of your mother having sex online. I hear she's a slut.
Winning Our Future, the Newt Gingrich SuperPac? I'd like to thank you, actually, for blowing all your money on a bloated sac of cum. Your money would have been better spent on hookers and blow. IncomeAtHome.com?
Your grandmother is a slut.
Exergen? Your daughter is a slut.
Nova Armament? Your sister is a slut who likes guns.
RightSize Weight Loss? Have you seen Rush Limbaugh? Your wife is a fat slut.
Hillsdale College? What do you teach? Creationism and Intelligent Design? I'm sure your baby girl is a slut.
Hot Props, Network Capital, Insperity, United Healthcare, Ackerman security, Regal Assets, Merit Financial, and Robert Steinberg? Your wife isn't a slut, but she is fucking your best friend. Your daughter, however, is a total slut.

To The Department of Veterans, I don't know what to say to you. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and calling it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But if you drop his show, I'll go one step further and call it what it really is: Shell Shock, a term so truthful it could actually get you the healthcare attention you deserve... if only we still used it. How I miss George Carlin.

Looks like Santorum is running neck and neck with Romney. I don't want to jinx anything, but I do feel like celebrating.


Who's the prostitute now, bitch?

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