Now as for personality traits, he needed none. He just had to lie about his position on the issues and lie all the time.
To arrive at this moment he had traveled vast distances enduring many hardships. A summer in France to avoid going to war, tuna and pasta, debates with crazy people, you name it.
Inside his head, he could see it. It was perfect. He knew almost nothing about the people and they didn't know much more about him. It was exactly how it was supposed to be.
He brought the clan of stupid to his Boston Headquarters. The lights were soft, the moment was right. Then they leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Do you love me?"
Thoughts raced through his mind. Did they really want him? What had he done to deserve this voter disenfranchising effort and Super PAC bounty? Did Global Warming exist? Who invented FEMA and why? 'Do you love me?'
Staring into their eyes he knew that they really needed to hear it but like always, he was unaware that these are not just words and if he said it, it would be a lie. "Do you love me?" they whispered. "Do you love me?"
It would not be tonight. The answer was No.