Friday, March 16, 2012

50 Bucks, Grandpa. For 75 the Wife Can Watch.

I'll be interested to see how the neo conservatives respond Santorum's Porn Attack seeing how they don't want to pay women to have sex... unless they have a right to watch...

Monday, March 12, 2012

Newt is to Algae as Bachmann is to HPV Vaccine Retardation

Newt Gingrich can say he's got a plan to bring the price of gasoline down just the way I can tell you he stores jelly donuts in his rolls of fat. Doesn't make either one of us right. Now, I don't have proof that my statement is incorrect, but I do have proof that his is. The fact is this: The price of petroleum is up because of fears of war between the US and Iran or Israel and Iran. Period.

I'm no expert on the subject; it just doesn't take much effort to research what experts on the subject have to say about it.

So go ahead, Newt. Mock ideas for new methods of fuel production and see how far our country gets. We'll be colonizing the moon in no time. Holy fuck, you are fucktarded. You too, Haley Barbour. Why don't you go pardon some more murderers...

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success.
Fucking act like it.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

It's a Super Tuesday.

As I wait for polls to close throughout the ten states holding primaries today, I check on Rush Limbaugh's financial hemorrhage. Yesterday eight companies pulled sponsorship from his bigoted, racist, misogynistic, anti-semitic show, and today I'm eager to see if this gash has started to clot or if someone slipped him some blood thinners. My heart swells to see that today the number of fleeing advertisers has grown. I'd say Rush Limbaugh officially needs a tampon. A super.

I'd like to thank AccuQuote Life Insurance, Allstate Insurance, Bare Essentials, Bethesda Sedation Dentistry, Bonobos, Capital One, Cascade Dental, Downeast Energy, Geico, Goodwill Industries, Hadeed Carpet, Heart & Body Extract, John Deere, Netflix, Philadelphia Orchestra, PolyCom, Sears, Sensa, Service Magic,, St. Vincent's Medical Center, Tax Resolution, Thompson Creek Windows, and Vitacost for pulling their ads from Baby Dick's show and I'd like to repeat a thank you to AOL, Carbonite, Citrix, LegalZoom, ProFlowers, Quicken Loans, Sleep Number, and The Sleep Train for starting the exodus. I'd also like to extend some big love to Big Island Radio Station KPUA and Massachusetts' WBEC for dropping his show from their schedules.

To those sponsors who are standing by this putrid fuckwit, my foot up your ass.
Lear Capital? Your mother is a slut.
Amberen? Your mothers is a slut going through menopause.
Snell Heating and Air? Please post videos of your mother having sex online. I hear she's a slut.
Winning Our Future, the Newt Gingrich SuperPac? I'd like to thank you, actually, for blowing all your money on a bloated sac of cum. Your money would have been better spent on hookers and blow.
Your grandmother is a slut.
Exergen? Your daughter is a slut.
Nova Armament? Your sister is a slut who likes guns.
RightSize Weight Loss? Have you seen Rush Limbaugh? Your wife is a fat slut.
Hillsdale College? What do you teach? Creationism and Intelligent Design? I'm sure your baby girl is a slut.
Hot Props, Network Capital, Insperity, United Healthcare, Ackerman security, Regal Assets, Merit Financial, and Robert Steinberg? Your wife isn't a slut, but she is fucking your best friend. Your daughter, however, is a total slut.

To The Department of Veterans, I don't know what to say to you. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and calling it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But if you drop his show, I'll go one step further and call it what it really is: Shell Shock, a term so truthful it could actually get you the healthcare attention you deserve... if only we still used it. How I miss George Carlin.

Looks like Santorum is running neck and neck with Romney. I don't want to jinx anything, but I do feel like celebrating.


Who's the prostitute now, bitch?

Monday, March 5, 2012

Let the Financial Hemorrhaging Flow

In the completely unlikely event that that this site ever requires monetary backing, I too will "apologize" for not using the best word choices to point out that Rush Limbaugh's mother is a slut, takes it up the sloppy end of her digestive tract, eats fuckstick through her shit valve, earns a quarter for every pork sword up her ass flap, and charges less to make up for her Adam's Apple, but I'll assure you that I only chose them hoping to be humorous while I reiterate that I still wouldn't fuck her with any of Rush's four wives' dicks because even a bad choice of words won't change her status as a slut.

I'd like to thank the following eight companies for pulling sponsorship from Rush Limbaugh's show: AOL, Carbonite, Citrix, LegalZoom, ProFlowers, Quicken Loans, Sleep Number, and The Sleep Train.

Let the River Flow

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success.
Fucking act like it.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Rush Limbaugh's Mother is a Slut and Takes it up the Ass.

The Politics of Women's Health. There's nothing like it. No, really - it has no counterpart. There's no Politics of Men's Health. Nothing fucking like it all.

Two weeks ago Republicans held a hearing on women's access to birth control coverage that included a panel with five men and no women. House Republicans denied televised testimony from Sandra Fluke, a Georgetown law student who spoke on behalf of women and their right to affordable healthcare. For her testimony to defend women's right to affordable healthcare, Rush Limbaugh, the answer to a question no one ever asked, called her a Slut, a Prostitute, a woman who has so much sex she can't afford contraception, and a woman who wants to be paid to have sex. He finished his brain fart by saying that if he has to pay for her to have all this sex, he wants her to videotape it so he can see it. So, in his book, women who stand up for themselves are sluts, and it's not okay to pay women for sex unless he gets to watch. What a cunt.

So here we are. Just like the Politics of Women's Health and its lacking counterpart, we come to a man's favorite way to insult a woman - claim how promiscuous she is. Its counterpart? Please. Men think their own promiscuity is something to be applauded.

Luckily, we know how much the terms of a woman's promiscuity bothers him. And we know he had a mother at some point in his life.

So here we are, Baby Dick. Rush Limbaugh, your mother is a whore. She loves getting rammed up the sloppy end of her digestive tract, but her favorite thing is taking a nasty fuckstick out of her shit valve and cramming the fudge pop down her throat. Somewhere, at this very moment, someone is paying her for the pleasure of tongue punching her fart box. Oh yes, Rush. She's a dirty, dirty slut.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.